"Howdy Pardners, Jerry Brown's Line One Bandits Strike Again! The bank of Mexico reported the loss of several large tuna from a southern district today! They rode in before dawn under cloud covered skies and made off with 20 tuna over 140 pounds, a half dozen of those between 180 to 195. Also, scalawag Joe Amagrande wrangled in a 234, outlaw Craig Drummond lassoed a 214, rider Brian Boatman had a great day and made off with a wily 207 and scoundrel Don Burnside captured a 209. It was reported the rustlers scattered off with only quality stuff and left the small varmints to the locals! It appears the Stagecoach Polaris is remaining in the area, so protect your women and little ones!"